Human
by Yaoi Squeals
Summary: Inspired by the song "Human" by Christina Perri. Ed is trying to hide his feelings for Roy, but at what cost? Slight fluff, RoyxEd. Rated T just in case and warnings inside. Let me know if you want to see a sequel of some sort. UPDATE: Major changes, please read again! thank you! Also writing an alternate ending!


**Hey everyone, Yaoi Squeals here! This isn't my first fanfic, but it's the first one I'm actually posting online because I didn't have word on my laptop for about a year or so and it was reaaaaally aggravating…**

**Anyways this fic has the pairing of EdxRoy. I got the inspiration for this fic from the song "Human" by Christina Perri.**

_**For those of you who have already read my fic once, yes I did remove the lyrics and change it up a bit because some things I missed were brought to my attention, and you also asked me to extend it.**_

_**AND for those of you who want an alternate ending I am working on it!**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, though I wish I could...**

**Warning: Almost character death(ish), hints at self-harm, and some slight fluffy BL. Don't like? Don't read.**

**Also: unbeta-ed, anyone who wants the position please ask.**

"Colonel…" Ed stared longingly at the Colonel's back. He didn't want to be the angry spitfire that Mustang knew him to be, but that was inevitable, but it had begun to seem like Roy and Riza were becoming close. Close enough to push Ed to tears when he was alone. Lately, whenever the Colonel would pass, Ed would hold his breath, and whenever they were alone in the older man's office, he would sometimes bite his tongue to keep himself from confessing his feelings. It pained the Fullmetal Alchemist to keep his feelings a secret, especially when Mustang would smile knowingly at Hawkeye. There had only been a few weeks since the start of these actions between his superiors, but to Ed it felt like an eternity. It was an eternity he didn't want to bear.

"Brother, are you alright?" Alphonse asked Edward. He had seen a change in the elder over the last few weeks. Ed used to be a loud spitfire and would practically attack someone when they called him short, but now he was quiet, distant and didn't even notice when people called him a 'shrimp'. Al was getting increasingly worried and resolved to let the Colonel know what was going on with Ed if nothing changed in the next week.

Edward looked at his younger brother. He was a little startled but immediately plastered a fake smile on his face. "Nothing's wrong Al, I just want to get you your body back more than ever." He tried to cover for his forgetfulness, but he was cracking, falling apart. The scars on his left arm were proof of that. Edward was trying to be strong, but he didn't know how to do it anymore.

"I can't help that I love you!" Ed shouted angrily at Mustang before his eyes widened and he stepped back a few paces, his nails digging into his palm as he clenched his fists, drawing blood from his left hand and nearly denting his automail right hand. He willed himself not to let anymore of his emotions show on his face, but it was hard since he had confessed to the Colonel in front of the man's entire squad, including his own brother. Ed felt tears spring to his eyes at everyone's shocked faces and he turned and raced from the building, not caring where he was going. He tripped multiple times, scraping his knee and elbow, making them bleed.

Ed locked himself in his room, punching the wall a few times to let out his anger at himself and the world. He was a human too, so why couldn't he have someone to love like everyone else did? Why did he have to confess in front of everyone? Edward dropped to the floor, tears trailing his face. He didn't want to be alive anymore. Didn't want to live in a world where he couldn't have the one thing he wanted besides the return of his brother's body.

Ed stood suddenly and practically ripped off his signature red jacket as he reached for the nightstand drawer, pulling out a lone, slightly dull, yet well used razor blade. He wanted the heartache to go away so much it hurt. He wanted to release his soul from the pain so much that he barely thought as he raised the blade to his neck. And then Al's smiling face flashed through his mind and he choked out a sob before tossing the blade away. He couldn't go through with it, couldn't let Al be alone in this cruel world. He heard a knock on his door and wiped away his tears as he unlocked it, stepping back in surprise at the sight of Colonel Mustang panting as though he'd just run a great distance. Ed attempted to slam the door shut, but the Colonel stopped it with his booted foot.

"Fullmetal…no, Edward…at least hear me out." Roy pleaded, his velvet voice full of desperation when he noticed Ed's puffy eyes and the scars on the younger's wrist. Ed sighed and looked up at the taller man expectantly. "I love you too." Roy said quietly before leaning forward and capturing Ed's lips with his own.

Edward's eyes widened in surprise before he relaxed into the kiss, he didn't know what Alphonse would think, but at this moment all that mattered was Roy and the fact that his love wasn't one-sided on his part.

Roy was eventually forced to tell Ed that Riza was giving him advice and wanted to make Edward jealous to see how the younger man would react, hoping it would push out a confession. "Though it had the opposite effect we got here eventually." Roy chuckled before kissing Ed again, trapping the angry words that were about to sprout from the spitfire's lips.

**Xx END xX**

**Happy ending! Yay!**

**So? What did you think? I'm insane, right? Yeah. That's what they all think. Don't worry about it though, I think I'm insane too!**

**Thank you for taking the time to read this, and please R&R or I will do some very unsightly things (like write an alternate ending in which Ed goes through with killing himself).**

**Edward: Please don't let her kill me! …or is it forced suicide…? Anyways, don't let Squeals take control! Read and review to save my life!**

**UPDATE: I am currently working on the alternate ending, I will post it as soon as I finish it.**


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